Tomatoes to mottos …

On my way to Los Angeles for my BDay last weekend, I sat next to another writer on the plane. What are the chances? Over several hours and several strong drinks, we played get to know each other … and joked about a number of earth-shattering topics. Things such as how you can either get stuck next to a freak on a lengthy plane ride or you end up meeting someone really cool.

Mercifully, she was cool AND a freak. Most writers are …

At one point she asked me what my motto was … and I looked at her with befuddled bemusement. “My what?” I asked.

She then replied extra-slowly “MAAAAAAHHHHH-TOOOOOOOOOOE” … as if I was hard of hearing. I’ve smacked people for less, but whatever. And I said, “You know, I don’t really think I have a motto.” And then it was her turn to shoot me a look of befuddlement.

Apparently, there’s some unwritten (get it?) code of writers that they must come up with a motto … a mantra … a clever saying by which they live their life. I asked what her motto was … but she wouldn’t tell me. Clearly, she thought I was gonna snag her slogan.
(Smart girl.)

So for the next hour or so, I rattled around things in my head. I went from pensive to profound to having an urge to pee. At some point between my amazing bladder control and a sixth rum and Coke, it hit me. I wanted my motto to be:

AVOID NEGATIVITY AT ANY COST!

When I turned 30, I promised to be good to myself … even if it killed me. I vowed that if life was on a scale from 1-10 … I would try to live at a constant 36. I wanted to always be happy-go-lucky and be completely unphased by toxic human beings. And you know what; it has worked wonders on a number of levels. I can now safely deflect anyone with a curt smile or effusive giggle.

So after I shared with her my new motto … I demanded to know what hers was. She handed me her business card and it said, “I hit a bus once … not my best day.” That was her motto.

I laughed so hard my drink came out my nose. Nary a curt smile or effusive giggle in sight. Priceless!

So take some time … pick a motto … and lemme know what it is. Unless it’s negative, of course.